Vanishing
by Soozen
Summary: Akito wants to fade away. Chapter 98 spoilers.


While there really isn't a spoiler for one of the more recent chapters that was released, this story might make more sense if you've read up to chapter 122.

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"_Disappear, disappear  
__Thinner, thinner…."  
_-Vanishing by A Perfect Circle

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The door to her room opened, and closed, the familiar sounds of wood scraping against wood, of soft footsteps entering. She didn't have to look back over her shoulder, away from the window she was leaning by, to know who it was; the quiet sigh told her it was Hatori. He'd been doing that lately, whenever he saw her. And, she'd put up with it, because she knew it was in response to her health.

"Good afternoon, Akito," Hatori said behind her. "I've brought you some lunch."

"I'm not hungry," she replied, even as she felt her stomach churn with hunger. She ignored it.

"You haven't eaten in days." He was coming closer, and the aromas of the food were driving her mad.

"And your point is?" Akito tried to focus completely on the view from the window; the trees, the birds, the garden.

He was beside her now, and she gave in, looking at the meal. Miso soup, and a bowl of rice, with some sauce for flavoring in a side bowl. Very light food, and easy to digest; she was sure Hatori had chosen them merely because of that reason. Oh, it did smell delicious.

"You must be hungry."

"I mustn't be anything," she snapped back, turning back to look out the window.

There was Hatori's usual sigh again. They'd gone through this same argument at every meal for the past three weeks, though she'd only gone without eating anything for four days at most. She'd give in to her hunger periodically and eat something, though very little.

"Akito, it is not healthy for you not to eat." Oh, this speech again. "You're losing your strength, and if you become ill again, it'll be much harder for you to become healthy once more. I must insist you eat."

"I'm not hungry, I told her." She was so irritated; the constant hunger nearly drove her mad, and the food he was offering was teasing her, and he was annoying her. "Why are you bothering me, why does everyone bother me?"

That did it; changing her tone to a tense one, acting as though she may leap into hysterics always worked to her benefit. Hatori's tone also started to change.

"I'm not trying to bother you," Hatori said calmly, almost soothingly. "I only want you to be healthy."

"I'm fine; I'm just not hungry."

"Akito-"

"I told you I'm not hungry!" She snapped, lashing her arm out, knocking the tray of food to the floor and spilling soup and rice everywhere. Hatori had taken a step back out of surprise.

"Get a maid someone to clean up the mess," Akito said, resuming her position at the window. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Hatori nodding.

"Akito, is there anything you would like to eat for dinner, so I can tell the cooks now what to prepare?"

Oh, as a sneaky dragon he was. He could not trap her in this, would not. "No."

"Are you sure?" At her silence, he added, "If you do not start eating soon, I will have to put you on an IV, to keep you from getting ill."

"You will do no such thing!" Akito hissed. An IV was positively frightening; it would ruin her plans.

"Your health is at stake-"

"I don't care! You won't do it, Hatori! You won't!"

Hatori sighed again. Why did he always sigh? It was so annoying. Slowly, carefully, he seated himself beside her. "What are you trying to do, Akito? Are you trying to make yourself sick?"

"No." She was looking at him once more, and found her focus turned to his eye, the one she had blinded. Yet another terrible thing she had done, but no matter. Soon, everything would be better, once she faded….

She reached out, and moved Hatori's bangs to the side, uncovering his eye. There was no real scarring, thank goodness, just a few very thing white lines above and below his eye.

"Then what is it?" His words were slow, and she could just barely feel the fear in his voice. Her dragon was still scared of her wrath, and though it was a comforting feeling, the guilt ran hard through. His fear was not one in awe of a god, but of one who was scared of being hurt.

"None of your concern," she whispered, and kissed him. Perhaps that would calm him, get him to understand she would do no one no harm anymore. And, as was expected, he returned the kiss.

"Hatori," she said, pulling back, looking out the window once more, "get someone to clean up the lunch now."

He nodded, just like before, and stood up, and walked out. Now, it was Akito's turn to sigh, having gotten through another meal without eating a single bite. A few more weeks was all it would take, longer if Hatori managed to get her to eat, or worse, put her on an IV. Soon enough, she would grow thinner and thinner and thinner, and eventually she'd fade back, into the background, fade away, where she belonged. Soon, there would be nothing left of her, the way it should be.

She leaned her head against the window frame. Everything else was fading away; why shouldn't she do the same?

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I'll be honest; I'm pretty proud of this one. I know I've been writing quite a bit "un-hinged Akito" fics lately, but I feel this is the best one I've done yet.

I hope you enjoyed this.

Please review.


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